Bun Bun WHAT! Inside Hunny's silly sick mind
by band geeks are hot
Summary: Back from the grave after a deletion due to the matureness of the title, it's Hunny and his sick twisted little perverted mind! Not sure if many people will like it, but I hope some of you do!
1. The Beginning

**Well this was deleted due to the title...and I forgot to re-do it. So here it is for the few, few, fans!**

I had cake today. It was good and I was still eating it.

But then Mori told me something shocking.

Oh so shocking.

"Hunny that's a pink cardboard box you're eating."

"SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH!"

--------------------------------------------------------------

Then I told Tamaki he was fat.

He's HUGE.

Huger than Haruhi's boobs!

"Hunny! H0w d4r3 j00 c4ll m3 ph47!!!!one!!!eleven!!"

"Shut up fatty fat french-man!"

That's his new nickname now.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Haruhi was so smexy today.

Makes me want to rape her 217 times.

"Hunny, we can hear what you're saying..."

Damn you Kyouya!

Betta start working on how to keep my thoughts...thoughts-y

Nekozawa is a silly emo pimp

"No I'm not!"

"How'd you get in here?!!?!"

"The door."

Nekozawa is a silly emo pimp that knows how to use a door.

A

MAZ

ING

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Hikaru and Kaoru tried to explain to me why sex was wrong today.

"**It's because _you're_ having sex without _us_**."

"I...I think I understand now!"

Ever wondered why girls come to the club?

Cuz they so fugly they pay us sexy pplz to tell them they're hot.

When they're not.

Oh yeah.

I'm hot cause I fly

You ain't cause you not

This is why this is why this is why I'm hot

(breaks into song)

Damn fugly bitchez.

"Hunny you know that's rude to the paying customers and it's inappropriate."

"YOUR FACE is inappropriate Kyouya!"

"(angst)"

-------------------------------------------------------------

Know what pisses me off?

When I go to and see only 20 or so fics with me and Haruhi.

And 243239487239334.43 of me and Mori.

What.

The.

Fugnugget.

Sure Mori is one sexy beast.

But Haruhi is teh smexy-iest one in the group!

I wanna be paired with teh smexy-iest one in the group!

Where's the love for HunnyxHaruhi? Or HanixHaru? Or PurplePicklexFlamingo?

Except PurplePickle hates Flamingo's guts.

I can see they won't be a couple. EVVVer.

Haha see how my name's first in every pairing? HunnyxMori HunnyxTamaki HunnyxNekozawa HunnyxHaruhi HunnyxRenge

Hold up.

HunnyxRenge!?!?!?!!?!

...Damn...sounds hot.

"Not really..."

"SHUT UP HIKARU!"

"But I'm Kaoru..."

"...Bitch! (runs)"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

School started. And lazy bum authoress has NO TIME whatsoever to finish her journals yet can type up fanfiction.

**IRONIC**.

School brainwshes people.

They force you to...do bad stuff...

Like...

THINK.

LEARN.

WRITE.

How terrible!

"School is for your education!"

"Shut up Haruhi!"

"(offended)"

She was so offended, I had to say her boobs were big to make her feel better.

But they were.

Never learned how she keeps them all flat in the anime/manga.

Every crossdresser has her secret...

**Moral of this chapter** : Don't eat pink cardboard boxes. They're not cake!!!

**Brought back from the dead, it's the inside the mind of hunny! hope you all like it back**!


	2. COMPYUUTUR GEEK

**Another Chapter. Party Time.**

Instead of homework, Authoress is typing this up.

SILLY GIRL!

If she wasn't so busy I'd take her to a closet and- ... well yeah.

Kyouya is a geek.

Wanna know why?

Because all he does is write in a pad and types on his computer.

COMPYUUTUR GEEK.

I bet he secretly types l337 in his spare geeky time.

"Hunny, I do not type l337 unless I'm on AIM."

DAMN!

This is why I let Haruhi, Mori, Tamaki, Hikaru, Kaoru, Renge, and Nekozawa into my pants and not him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

COMPYUUTUR GEEK

"Hey, I take offense to that!"

"Why Kaoru?"

"I'm Hikaru!!!"

"Why Kaoru?"

"...CUZ I GO ONLINE EVERYDAY TO IM PEOPLE AND CHECK MY MYSPACE AND TYPE FANFICTION FOR FULL METAL ALCHEMIST! Names like that are hurtful!"

--------------------------------------------------------------

ANOTHER COMPYUUTUR GEEK.

WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY COMPYUUTUR GEEKS.

"Mitsukini, you're online 12 hours everyday. That makes you a computer geek too."

"...Crap."

After that revelation (THANK YOU STUPID NON-COMPYUUTER GEEK MORI)I decided that compyuutur geeks are hot.

Except for Kyouya.

------------------------------------------------------------

I went to the mall today.

But to my surprise, I saw Haruhi in a store posed like a mannequin!

"Haruhi what the schmuck are you doing?"

"Posing as a mannequin."

"You stupid girl! This is why Tamaki won't let you into his room!"

"(sobs)"

I took a picture of her after she stopped crying. That picture will be under my pillow tonight. And the next night. And next week.

I went to the book store and I saw HIKARU AND KAORU actually READING!

"You moonks! How dare you read on your free time! (smacks)"

"(sob) Ow Hunny-sempai! This isn't a book! How dare you accuse us of reading on our free time!"

"This."

"Is."

"**PORN**."

I then looked at the cover and indeed, saw it was porn. I borrowed that book a week later since I lost Haruhi's picture.

Then I realized I looked up porn online all the time, which is why I'm such a COMPYUUTUR GEEK.

Or does that make me a porn addict?

Nooo.

EVERYONE loves porn!

And to think I thought I had a problem.

----------------------------------------------------------------

I saw Tamaki today.

He was wearing a cape and his underwear.

"I'M SUUUUUPER DOOOOOD!"

"(sings own theme song)"

"YOU'LL DIE A VIRGIN!"

"(angst)"

Then I realized that wasn't true since I butt raped him 18 times.

But I kept that to myself.

"No you didn't...we can still hear you Hunny."

DAMN YOU KYOUYA!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Bun Bun was being all gangster at home.

"YoOoOo hOm3bUnNy!"

"Bun Bun that was the worst gangster impression from a stuffed rabbit I've ever heard."

"(takes out pocket knife)"

"Bun Bun that was the best gangster impression from a stuffed rabbit I've ever heard."

What? You think I'd wanna get shanked by a stuffed rabbit?

Did.

Not.

Think.

So.

"I was shanked in my sleep!"

"Nobody cares, Hikaru!"

"(angst)"

I actually told the difference between the two of them.

It sickens me to the core.

"Hunny, what are you talking about?"

"Uh...CAKE! (runs)"

COMPYUUTUR GEEK.

Ah,** the random perverted sick insanity...nice isn't it?**


	3. k1ll1nG m4h Br0

Nothing much to say today. 

I got an E-mail today.

It said:

Forward this if you wanna send flowers to a friend.

Lick.

Do.

Grope.

Then I realized Mori sent this to me.

How sweet and twisted!

-------------------------------------

I want to murder my younger brother.

Why?

Because ONE, he doesn't like my cake. What a Bitch.

TWO, he doesn't let me cop a feel in his sleep.

And THREE, I just bought a new machine gun and need target practice.

Let the shooting begin!

"Brother, what are you talking about?"

"...Uhh...SEX! (runs)"

Damn. I need to catch him off-guard.

"Catch who off-guard Hunny-sempai?"

"SHUT UP TAMAKI-TERIYAKI."

"(angst)"

------------------------------

I should kill him too. And then Kyouya. And then EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD EXCEPT MORI, HARUHI, AND THE TWINS SO THEY CAN ALL BE MY SEX SLAVES FOREVAH!!!!!!

"Hunny-sempai what are you talking about???"

"Oh! Haruhi I was talking about...Butt sex."

"Hawt."

-----------------------------

"Hey Takashi."

"Yes Mitsukini?"

"I dropped a quarter. Pick it up for me please?"

"(picks up)"

"(rapes)"

"(is raped)"

---------------------------

I'm glad my family's rich enough to afford a machine gun.

I shall put it to good use.

(Ka-chick)

Lock and load bitches.

---------------------------

"Brother, what are you-"

**BAM**

"...Bitch..." (blows smoke off gun)

--------------------------

That was the best dream ever.

I shall make it come true today.

I will kill my brother.

"You'll WHAT?!?!?"

"Did I say kill, dear brother, I meant...rape! Rape thats it..." (shifty eyes)

"..."

"DON'T _'DOT DOT DOT'_ ME!"

"(walks away)"

Damn...

-------------------------

I have a better plan.

Imma bust a cap in his ass while he's singing Spice Girls in his room.

You heard me.

SPICE GIRLS.

Apparently, my younger brother likes to listen to British women who are well over 30 back when they used to be cool.

Shame.

------------------------

"Shame Shame Shame! I don't wanna go to Mexico no more, more mo-"

"GO AWAY KYOUYA!"

"(sadness)"

------------------------

Ok here I go.

3...

2...

1...

"OOOOOH I TELL YOU WHAT I WANT WHAT I REALLY REALLY WANT, SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT!"

Oh my **GAWD**.

"IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVAH! YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS!"

That's NEKOZAWA.

Wait a second.

This isn't my house.

DAMN IT WITH MY STALKING! I ALWAYS GO TO THE WRONG HOUSE!"

...(videotapes)

Now I can blackmail Nekozawa into pleasure rape next Tuesday.

Party.

-------------------------

Okay this has gone long enough.

"NO IT HASN'T!"

"SHUT UP RENGE!"

"...Bitch!!!" (runs)

Anyway...

**BAM**!

I shot my brother in his room.

He wasn't lsitening to spice Girls today.

Ah well.

Now that he's dead I can drag his corpse to the river...

...and finally grope his dead-ass.

Just kidding.

I did that yesterday.

-----------------------

"HuNny! WhY d1d j00 k1ll y0uR bR0th4!!!11!"

"(motions gun towards Bun Bun)"

"I mean...g00d j0b."

----------------------

I can't wait for Tuesday.


	4. Stop staring at my crotch

**Lalalalalalala, internet.**

_If you were gay._

Killing my brother was easy.

Killing Kyouya would be hard.

Especially when your mom asks you silly question like

"Hunny did you put catnip in Kyouya's food?"

"Did it kill him?"

"No."

"DAMN!!!"

"Watch your mouth, Hunny!"

"...Oh phooey!"

"Much better."

--------------------------------------------------------------

My mom rules.

_That'd be okay_.

She's better than your mom.

Yo momma so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

"That's disrespectful to mothers, Mistukini."

"WELL YOOOOOO MOMMA IS DISRESPECTFUL TO SOCIETY!"

"..." (takes out shotgun)

"Uhh...I mean...your mother is a well respected member of the community Takashi."

"That's what I thought I heard."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

_I mean cause heeeeeeeey, ha!_

So I tried to kill Tamaki instead.

"Tamaki?"

"Yes?"

"Could you stand on that 'x' for me?"

"Okay."

"(drops piano)"

_I'd like you anyway._

HAHA.

Wait...

Now there's no one to give insulting nicknames too!

DAMN!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Because you see_

"Hunny-sempai."

"Yes."

"Please stop looking at my crotch."

"No way Hikaru."

"I'm Kaoru."

"They're the same size anyway."

"...Damn how'd you know."

_If it were meeeeeeee_

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I was watching Jumanji today.

If I picked up a board game playing drums, and had nothing to do with music for strippers I'd drop it.

Like it's hot.

Drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's-

"DATE RAPE!!!!!!!"

"WHERE, HARUHI?!?!!?"

"No, I just felt like screaming it in your ear."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_I would feel FREE to say, that I was gay, but I'm not gay._

Tim Allen looks weird with a beard and hair like Scary Spice.

Don't ask how I know that.

If I told you I'd have to kill you.

If your a girl then rape.

Repeatedly.

THEN kill you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

_I'm happy just being with youuu_

Jumanji ended and everyone lived happily ever.

I just wasted my life on two boob-less hours.

Not even a nipple.

I need something to compensate for my loss.

"Hunny stop staring at my crotch."

"I'm staring at your BOOBS Haruhi."

"...OH..."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

_So what should it matter to me what you do in bed with guys?!_

That was sweet.

After that I ate some cake and took a nap.

A LONG nap.

I woke up about two weeks later and have never felt more refreshed.

However I woke up in a coffin and was mighty pissed.

_If you were gayyyyy_

_-------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"BITCH LEMME OUTTA THIS BOX, IT STINKS TO HIGH HEAVEN!"

"Your alive! Praise the Lord!"

"...Old man, you wouldn't say that if you knew Hunny sempai."

"Shut up Hikaru."

"But I'm Hi- ...you knew it was me?"

"I did?"

"IT'S A ZOMBIE! A SMART ZOMBIE! KAORU THIS IS SERIOUS! ONLY THE UNDEAD CAN TELL US APART!"

"HEY!!!"

"Shut up Haruhi!"

"HIKARU DEAR BROTHER, WHAT SHOULD WE DO?"

"Take action!"

"KILL THE SMART HUNNY ZOMBIE!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

_I'd shout, hooray!_

That did not go well.

Not at all.

I'm just going to make them leave FORCEFULLY, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"I'm not a zombie. Go home."

"...'Kay."

_And here I'd stayyy_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------_

See all that effort it took?

Jeeze...

Why are you all looking at me like that?

Why are some of you chuckling?

WHAT IS IT?!?!

DO I AMUSE YOU, IS THAT IT?!?!?

WELL I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT'S AMUSING!!!!!

(puts on video of Tamaki being kicked in the nuts by a five year-old)

There we go.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

_But I wouldn't get in your way._

So I'm going to have this long discussion about this anime series I watched on the internet after I killed my bro.

It's called Princess Tutu.

Let me tell you.

It's CRAZYYYY.

Like SOAP OPERA crazy with ballerinas.

_You can count on me_

You heard me - BALLERINAS.

Did no one grasp the concept of the words "Princess TUTU?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway.

CRAZYYYY.

Cause first of all, there was a DUCK.

And a naked trans lookin dude who danced ballet on the water like Jesus. Except for the naked trans lookin dude part.

He tore out his own heart to save the dope ass town, blah blah blah.

That shit must hurt.

_To always beeeeeeee_

-------------------------------------------------------------

And this duck got turned into a girl who can dance and shit cause of some dead guy who looked like a pedophile.

And she finds his heart pieces cause she wants to help the dancing trans. WHO'S A PRINCE.

I tell you, half the series, this guy wears no pants!!!!!

It'd be sexy if he weren't such a trans.

I mean, that's why I have Haruhi.

"HEY!"

"Hay is for horses, Haruhi."

"...Word."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

_Beside you EVERYDAY._

Then this girlfriend of Transy Prince gets all evil and tries to stop Princess Tutu in her black stripper tutu.

That sucks, except for the cleavage I can see from her tutu.

HAWT.

And this bad ass friend/knight thingy of Transy Prince tries stopping Princess Tutu too, cause he don't want his buddy to change.

In my opinion, he just wants to molest that guy the way he is, cause he won't say no.

But! That's MY opinion.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

But then bad ass friend/knight thing becomes Princess Tutu's homeboy.

Most likely (in MY opinion) because he found he could molest her too.

I would.

She's banging.

_To tell you IT'S OKAY_.

And some other shit happens, Transy Prince gets all evil and something about a fat-ass crow wanting hearts and Transy Prince trying to steal them from girls.

BUT if you look CLOSELY when he fingers the girls' hearts, he is most definately touching their left boob.

Zoom in on the scene, I'm serious.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then the crow takes over the dope ass town, Princess Tutu somewhow restores the heart, she's a duck again, Transy Prince saves the day blah blah blah. Happy ending all around.

Dude, if that were me, I'd be like "FUCK THAT SHIT. YA'LL SAVE THE TOWN ON YOUR OWN!"

But I'm NOT Princess Tutu.

Otherwise, I'd have boobs!

DAMN.

"Hunny, you are sick."

"Well YOUR A GEEK, Kyouya!"

"(sniffle) YOU SAY SUCH HURTFUL THINGS! (runs off)"

_YOU WERE JUST BORN THAT WAY._

-------------------------------------------------------------

Told you.

CRAZYYY.

Crazier than the time Takashi got drunk and made out with a chicken!

"You spiked my drink and you know it, Mitsukini."

"Maaaaaaybe."

"And just so you know, that chicken came on to ME first."

Well I'm off to stalk Haruhi now since I've got nothing better to do.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_And as they say, IT'S IN YOUR DNA YOUR GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!_

Whoever has been playing that song from Avenue Q for the whole chapter is going to get personally bitch slapped.

(Authoress and Nekozawa "mysteriously" disappear and will go into hiding for a week or so)

I'm soooooooo buying a tutu tomorrow.


	5. I SHALL SUE HOT TOPIC!

**Another chapter. You all must probably think it sucks, well you know WHAT. You may be right.  
Oh well!**

Oh.

My.

GOD.

I learned something today in school.

But what's shocking is WHAT I learned in school.

Chinese people in the 1400's...

...were druggies.

OH.

SNAP.

'What?!' you may say.

But it's true.

True-er than your face.

Yeah.

That shuts you up.

-----------------------------------------------------

The British couldn't trade a thing with China. So them bitches were getting pretty pissed.

And they found the magical drug called 'opium'

"It's in yo poppy seeds, yo."

"Kyouya, stop trying to be gangsta and go home!"

"(angst/leaves)"

------------------------------------------------------

The Chinese were very happy when they had it.

Then they ran out.

Then they got sad.

So British peeps gave them more.

And that's why I'm proud of our British four fathers that helped create drug pushers like us everywhere!!!

----------------------------------------------------

"Mistukini your Japanese."

"Go away, MORI.

"...Fine be that way, just so you know you're not getting any tonight." (leaves)

He'll come back.

They always do.

"TAKASHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! COME BACK!" (runs after Mori)

---------------------------------------------------------------

I need me some more peeps.

No, not that gangster term for friends you n00bs.

I mean marshmellow peeps.

Them little chickens and bunnies are gewwwwwd.

------------------------------------------------------------

"HuNny! WhY dO yOu 347 bUnNi3s lik3 m3h!!!eleven!

"They're marshmellows Bun Bun. Shut up"

"(angst/sob/can'tslitwristcauseonlystuffingwouldcomeout)

So I went to go buy some.

But then I saw something amazing.

Fantastic.

Horrifying.

Nekozawa.

In.

A.

Robe.

That's.

RAINBOW COLORED.

"GASP"

"Hello Hunny"

"TELL ME WHERE YOU BOUGHT THAT ROBE."

"Hot Topic"

"..."

"They turned to the dar-...err...light side"

--------------------------------------------------  
This cannot be.

I went to see for myself.

Nekozawa was right.

The whole store was filled with jean jackets, bright colors, and stiletto heels!

They even have brighter lights!

This is an outrage.

I SHALL SUE HOT TOPIC!

-------------------------------------------------------------

"I SHALL SUE HOT TOPIC!"

"That's fine, but your at the GAP."

"...(runs)"

-----------------------------------------------------------

Okay so I took directions from a homeless man in the mall.

NOBODY'S PERFECT.

So I had to spend 45743975498754.92 hours looking for Ht Topic, which was conveniently right next to the GAP.

It looked EXACTLY like the GAP.

But I saw the rainbow colored robes.

So I'll hold off suing for another hour.

--------------------------------------------------

"Bitch how much for one of those robes."

"$1000."

"Hell yes."

I showed Mori.

He was aroused speechless.

Mori is uber sexy when he's quiet.

More sexy than when Haruhi is smart.

...If I mixed them together.

I'd get uber sexy Marihi! Or Takasharu. Or Harutaka.

Damn where are the science labs when you need those fuckers.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh shit.

I forgot my peeps.

"It's ok Hunny!"

"No it's NOT okay, TAMAKI FRENCH-FRY."

"(goes to emo corner)"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Opium!


	6. A dragon's balls

**Another chapter. Whoopee.**

---------------------------------------------

I feel unloved.

And I don't think it's because I haven't had hookers over at my house in over two weeks.

Maybe it's the lack of reviews I receive on a daily basis?

Nah...

Hm...

I KNOW!

Your mother hasn't called me in a while.

BURN.

---

"Hunny sempai-"

"WANT SOME ICE FOR THAT BURN, HARUHI!"

"Hunny sempai, my mother is **dead**."

---

This is why you can't make jokes near Haruhi.

She's...the anti-joker

See there was one time when...

---

**SEXY FLASHBACK**

"Hey Haruhi!"

"Hello Hunny-sempai."

"Whatcha doin?"

"Eating. But I think I'm shoving it all in too fast."

"That's what _she_ said!!!!"

"Who?"

**SEXY FLASHBACK** **OVER**

---

EXACTLY.

Alright I think it's time for another Anime Discussion.

It's my new trademark.

Thingy.

Wang.

Balls.

---

"Hunny-sempai."

"Yes?"

"Those balls you mentioned wouldn't happen to be mine, would they?"

"No Kyouya, now stop butting in you attention whore."

"(A to the N to the G-S-T-I-N-G)"

---

Oh, before that...

Tamaki is alive.

What the fuggs.

Well some asshole named Goku walked by talking about crazy shit like a dragon's balls that can grant wishes.

Then some huge green...THING...popped out of nowhere, and Tamaki was resurrected.

Damn those seven balls of a dragon!

And I'm not only saying that because I'm jealous that a dragon has SEVEN BALLS while I have two and a half.

Anyway.

Tamaki's now alive and chipper as you have seen from the last chapter.

DAMN.

---

"It's so wonderful to be alive!"

"It's so wonderful to be living without a face like yours."

"(A to the N to the-

"HEY! I may be the most hated person in the fic, but only** _I_**have the fergalicious themed angsting, Tamki!"

"B-but Kyouya-"

"Shut up, Tamaki Su-wh0re!"

"(sadness without any fergalicious theme)"

---

I forgot what I was talking about.

Let me scroll up hereeeeee and...

Oh!

The Anime Discussion.

...Wait, I haven't had hookers in my house for that long!?!?

Jeebus.

I'll have to make a call.

Alright.

---

DEATH NOTE.

No, I haven't turned into a goth.

This is the title of the anime I'm discussing.

N00bs.

Okay...

---

So apparently it's about this highschool student who "seems" perfect and has an _average_ life.

Which sucks.

But then this shini-whatchamacallit from another world drops his notebook like a dumbass because he's bored, and the highschool student picks it up.

It's a Death Note.

You write down a person's name and they die.

What I wouldn't give to have one of those bitches.

The notebook falls from the sky...THE _SKY_!

And you **know** you would _so_ pick it up if you saw a book falling from the sky.

This kid does.

---

And this kid, who's apparently a egotistical sexy genius, starts writing names down faster than an inspired yaoi fanfic writer.

He kills only criminals cause he's a pussy and wants to kill off the bad people so only good people are left.

Here's the creepy part.

He wants to the god that rules the world when he's killed everybody.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Did I mention that this egotistical sexy genius is also a twisted motherfucker?

No?

Well now you know, bitches.

---

And the dumbass shini-thingy shows up and sees what's going down.

That bitch is entertained.

He talks about rules, his freaky eyes that can do cool shit, blah blah blah, people who touch the Death Note can see the shini-whatevers, blahh blahh blahhh I love apples, blahhhhhhhhhh your mother.

The egotistical sexy genius slash twisted motherfucker, Raito...or Lighto...Light...Lighthouse...Flashlight, whatever you prefer, is slowly becoming famous and is now known as "Kira".

Whoever came up with THAT name first musta been high.

---

PLOT TWIST!

A detective that has no life or real name whatsoever, known as "L" wants to track Kira down.

He knows where "Kira" lives by the first episode.

Wow.

He's the man.

And the rest of the series follows as Lighthouse being suspected by L, the guy with bad posture and a fondness for sweets...damn copywrighted bastard...and more people dying, some bitches with the hots for Lighthouse, more apples for the shinigami (thank you wikipedia), more freaky people that like chocolate, toys, and cigarettes, and more people dying!

**THE END**.

---

Wow.

Well it wasn't a bad anime...specially since Misa is half naked frequently.

SCORE!

Ahem...

If I had a Death Note...

Kyouya Ootori.

Tamaki Suoh.

Paris Hilton.

You'd be going DOWWWWWWWWN.

---

"What about me?"

"What ABOUT you, Kaoru?"

"I'm Hikaru, dammit!"

"Your face."

---

Wait...

Oh my Kira...

A notebook fell from the sky...!

**MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE**!

I'm putting YOUR mother in MY Death Note.

-----------------------------

**End! Sorry for the long update, and I didn't mean it to insult Death Note fans! I like the anime, which is why Hunny talks about it...in his own words, ahehe.**

**Any other anime you wish for him to discuss, just review and tell me!**


	7. EXCITING? I THINK NOT!

**Chappy time.**

* * *

Hey bitches. 

My scalp itches.

And no I did not just steal from Scotty Vanity.

...Well...

IT WAS ONLY TWO VERSES!

And if you don't know who Scotty Vanity is...

I'll have to rape you.

Or take your ass to 42nd street and hit you with a lead pipe.

---

Unless you live under a rock, you all must know that Britney's little sister, Jamie Spears is preggers.

EXCITING?

I THINK NOT!

How does that happen?!

What will happen to ZOEY 101?!?!!?

YOU CAN'T HAVE A PREGNANT TEEN ON THAT SHOW!

...UNLESS ITS DEGRASSI!

But those kids are more fucked up than I am on that show, so I won't even mention it.

---

And this Jamie is all excited about the baby.

At age 16.

Nice job, America.

JAPAN KICKS ASS.

We got anime without crappy english dubbing, technology that pwns, and super-cool stores!

And, more importantly...

Japan has ME.

Not to be as egotistical as Lighthouse from the last chapter, but I must admit I'm one of the hottest things to hit Japan.

---

"What about-"

"Japan hates your guts Kyouya."

"(triestoslitwristwithpenbutfails)"

Ha ha ha

Kyouya's such a loser, even suicide doesn't want to hang out with him!

---

"That doesn't make sense."

"It doesn't have to make sense Mori, because I'm BEAUTIFUL!"

"What?"

"You sound like Tamaki when you say that..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...I do?"

"Yes."

"...Oh."

---

Well that has practically scarred me for life.

**_I _**sound like TAMAKI SU-WH0RE?

EXCITING?

I THINK NOT!

This must be a joke.

---

"This isn't a joke Mitsukini."

"MORI GET YOUR OWN STORY!"

That rhymed!

But that's not important right now.

I'm going to vomit the Tamaki-ness out of me.

...(vomits)

That was disgusting.

But not as disgusting as your face.

BURN!

---

"Hunny-sempai, please shut the fuck up."

Did you **HEAR** that?

HARUHI just told me to **SHUT UP**.

With a curse in the middle!

EXCITING?

I THINK NOT!

I WILL NOT TAKE THIS LYING DOWN!

...That's what she said...

---

"HARUHI! YOU SUCK BALLS!"

"..."

"PREFERRABLY MINE!"

"...Hunny-sempai, your a dirty rapist."

"Yes, keep giving me dirty talk!"

"No, Hunny-sempai I really mean it. You are sick and perverted and keep saying things nobody understands. Who the hell is'she' and why does she keep saying random things like 'shoving it all in'?"

"...You disappoint me Haruhi."

"(sighs) Fine, and you have a nice ass."

"THERE WE GO."

---

I force people to compliment my body parts from time to time.

Now before I was so RUDELY interrupted and side-tracked, I'll talk to you more about Jamie Spears.

First off, she's a Spears so she was doomed since birth.

Second, she's BRITNEY SPEARS' sister.

Third, she was famous.

Being blonde had nothing to do with it, since I'm blonde and I am SO not stupid.

---

"Well..."

"Hikaru, say anything after that, consider yourself written in my sexy Death Note."

"I'm not Hi-"

"DON'T MAKE ME TAKE IT OUT!"

"...You have a nice ass..."

"Good."

---

Speaking of which, why didn't I write Kyouya's name down already...

"Because you looked deep into your heart and found out you care!"

"...(writes 'Tamaki Suoh' in notebook)..."

"GAH!!!!!! (heart attack)"

"Tamaki Su-wh0re you are the weakest link. Goodbye."

---

Anime Discussion time!

FRUITS BASKET.

No it's not an insult.

It's about this ditzy girl with no parents (because her mom just died) living in a TENT 'cause her grandfather's house is doing some renovations.

A _TENT_?! Nevermind, I don't really give a crap...

And this family, the Sohma's let her stay in their house cause her tent was on their property.

And because their house is a fricken mess, and she cleans.

THESE SOHMAS...

ARE NO ORDINARY SOHMAS...

THEY HAVE A CURSE...

WHICH TURNS THEM INTO ANIMALS.

WITH A POOF.

EXCITING?

I THINK SO!

---

Dogs cats mice, you name 'em, they got 'em.

Well there's the whole Zodiac curse blah blah blahhhhhh.

Cat man hates Rat man, blah blah blahhhhh.

Zodiac family slowly revealed BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Evil head of Sohma family WITH A DISGUISED GENDER.

Not to give out a SPOILER or anything.

Half the Sohma Family are girly looking men.

And.

Well.

Fruit Loops.

---

"YOUR a Fruit Loop Hunny!"

"Renge...How did you _know_?"

---

I have never been so terribly insulted.

"I have never been so terribly insulted."

"Sucks for you."

"That's what she said."

"DAMMIT!"

In your face Renge.

IN.

YOUR.

**FACE**!

---

Overall Fruits Basket is one bowl of angsty-comical-fantasy miso soup.

Except for the English dub.

"Hunny-sempai, these people worked very hard on dubbing this and-"

"Shut your face Haruhi!"

"How do I shut my-"

"Nevermind, just get into the playboy bunny costume before I get desperate enough to actually _subscribe_ to the _**magazine**_."

"Yessir."

---

So.

Another New Year and four days.

EXCITING?

I THINK NOT!

We're going to have so much stress and debates from Presidential Election and the stupid younger generation and global warming and and and and and and YOUR ANUS.

But oh well.

Hey.

---

Someone stole my Twix!

EXCITING?

I THINK NO-

(shot by Bun Bun)

"ShUt da FuCk uP."

* * *

**End!**

**(munches on Twix)**

**Hehehe**


	8. Que?

**Chapter. Yay.**

* * *

I'm very concerned. 

I should be seeing flames in the pits of hell, but instead I see a bunch of people running around waving giant keys and using them like light sabers against eachother.

And a bunch of men in black cloaks like the occult people.

Talking about 'Nobodies' and whatnot.

---

"OMG SORA! WE ARE HERE TO KILL J00 SORA BECAUSE YOU HAVE A NOBODY AND WE DON'T LIKE J00!!!!oneone2!!2111!"

"ADIAS MIO! DE NINGUN MODO!"

"Que?"

---

I hate it when there's no subtitles under Spanish dialouge.

Watching them is quite boring.

They talk a lot.

---

"OMG! I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT WHY WE DON'T LIKE J00 FOR FIFTEEN MORE MINUTES BEFORE WE FIGHT!"

"Que?"

---

Well the key-holder might be a girl...but there's absolutely no cleavage.

Minus Brownie Points.

---

Anyway.

This damned yellow dog won't leave me alone!

BACK!

BACK I SAY!

---

"(super-duper-karate-kid-power-house-jackie-chan-ninjaturtle-kick-to-the-face!)"

"OMG PLUTO!"

"The former planet?"

"Who you be?"

"I'm your fucking wife. Where the hell am I?"

"Twilight Town, ftw! Is you be with Organization XIII?"

"...Organization XIII? Is that a heavy metal band? A mafia I don't know about?"

"(insert face plant here)"

"...Balls."

"..."

"Well this is gay. Like you. Goodbye."

---

Now I'm lost again.

It's so strange.

I mean, where are the corner prostitutes?

And the drug dealers in the alleys?

And my fellow gangsters packing heat?

EVERY town should have them.

---

Anyway.

I THINK I SEE A WOMAN!

FINALLY AFTER A FULL TWENTY MINUTES!

--

"Hey sexy."

"Que?"

---

Oh my GAWD.

A manly lesbian!!!!!!

---

"...I mean...hey...person."

"Do I know who you be?"

---

You would if I let you into my pants, but I won't since manly lesbians creep me out.

"WHAT?!"

"Oh crap I thought out loud again."

"ARE YOU CALLING ME A GIRL?"

"You can be a boy anytime you want to, you just need to consult a doctor-"

"I am NOT a girl or a manly lesbian, I am a GUY dammit!"

---

Coulda fooled me.

"WHAT?!"

"Damn, I did it again."

"YOU WANNA START SOMETHING, PUNK?"

"No sir...I mean ma'm...I mean boss, I mean POOBAH!"

"...What's yo name, fool."

"Why would I tell you, bastard!"

"Must be too girly for you to sayyyyy, how about you put on your skirt now and I call you Nancy, now make me a sammich, beetch!"

"RIKU IS NOT A GIRLY NAME!"

"Alrighty then...thanks for telling me...(takes out sexy Death Note)...PREPARE TO DIE, RIKU! (writes 'Riku' in it)"

"Que?"

---

**Inside the Death Note, Hunny writes in perfect English even though he's Japanese and most likely can't say a complete sentence in English OR Spanish** :

_"Riku will die of AIDS because he was brutally raped by a Spanish girly fellow called Sora. The disease will take twenty five seconds to spread, killing him in half a minute. And Riku realizes he is infact pregnant with Hilary Duff's baby, which makes him quite suicidal. But before he can kill himself, the AIDS got to him first."_

"...ALL I WANTED WAS MY LITTLE PONY FOR CHRISTMAS! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR A SANTA CLAUS THAT DOESN'T EXIST IN THIS REALM?!?!"

---

PWNT!

I heart my sexy Death Note.

To bits.

And pieces.

And your face.

YOUUUUUR FACE.

---

Well.

I think Riku's demise starts in ten seconds.

So.

Time to go.

You stupid whores.

---

"I FEEEEEEEEL YOU JOHAAAAAANA!"

"...A) Your a William Becket wannabe and I don't like you. B) This is not your movie. And C) You don't feel any girl whatsoever because girls find you homosexual."

"I was just trying to serenade you with song since I was missing for the last fifteen minutes or so of the Sweeney Todd movie. BUT I GUESS IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU."

You bet your beige-clad ass it isn't.

---

I wanna go hooooo-oooooo-oooooome...hoooome

Yodel-aye-oh Yodel-aye-oh Yodel-

Fuck it.

---

(In le hospital)

"Wake up Hunny."

"Wha?"

"I said, wake up Hunny."

"Am...Am I in Heaven instead...?"

"Actually-"

"Oh NO, KYOUYA'S here! I must still be in hell!"

"(sniffle)"

---

"Hunny-sempai, your in a hospital because somehow you shot yourself yesterday."

"HARUHI! I've never been so happy to see you and your humongous boobs!"

"Hunny-sempai, how in the hell did you shoot yourself?"

"HIKARU!"

"I'M KAO-"

"AND KAORU!"

"I'M HIKA-"

"AND NO TAMAKI TERIYAKI! It's so nice to be alive..."

---

"...Uhm...this is the part where your supposed to say you've learned something and it's all moral and stuff."

"I'll do it when I'm good and ready, Kyouya!"

"Hunny-sempai..."

"FINE. Well I learned that I shouldn't yell a phrase over and over because I could get shot by my stuffed rabbit and land in a place with giant keys and manly lesbians."

"..."

"And people who speak Spanish."

"...FTW!"

* * *

**END. I mean no insult to anybody, so if I offend, I'm sorry!**


End file.
